My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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