We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
