You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
