super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
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