Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
