chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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