Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
