what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
