So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
