if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
