he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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