his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
