I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
