The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
it was like eating out sand paper
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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