Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
