If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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