My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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