i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
