I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
