Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
