She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I just found puke in my bra..
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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