how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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