I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
