Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
i think i just lost a toe
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
