My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
dude. I can hear the air.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
