Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
