Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
