absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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