It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
