I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
