So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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