You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
