I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize