Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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