Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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