Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
