We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize