Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
