How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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