I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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