i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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