Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
COCAINE IS GR8
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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