I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I intend to get homeless drunk
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize