I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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