Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
