My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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