3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
