so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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