Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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