Already got asked if we're dating
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize