my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
