shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
