The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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