And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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