All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i would punch a child for taco bell
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
