Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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