i will never coherently bang her
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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