i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
